Vickie wrote both a very moving and very important email to the “circle” mailing list. After reading this post I contacted her to asked permission to repost it on this blog. I am very thankful to her for giving me permission to re-publish it and I am hopeful that she will continue to share her wisdom as she and her husband continue with their battle with advanced prostate cancer and life in general.
Joel T Nowak MA, MSW
My husband has battled prostate cancer for 5 years. We started at stage 3 and a psa of 5.7, gleason 9 (5+4) at biopsy and 8 (5+3). He is now 57 and at stage 4 also. I am also going through perimenopause. Hot flashes together is lots of fun.
Don’t give up on other treatments. Gaery has done Zoladex, lupron, chemo (taxotare), Avadart and is currently doing lupron, zometa and a clinical trial of Abiraterone Acetate & Prednisone. There are many options. It is probably not the shot that is the problem but a PSA report that has always been our point of anxiety. The last we knew Gaery’s was at 48 and rising rapidly. They haven’t done any testing since he has started this trial so we are a little nervous about the next one. There have been so many times I have wondered if the treatments were going to kill him before the cancer had a chance.
At one point during this whole mess Gaery asked me if I was disappointed because he hadn’t died. I was shocked. I had been hiding my emotions and crying in the shower, etc to save his feelings and not upset him. Not until I shared those feelings and opened up to him did he really know I cared. Now we spend time talking about the future and the what ifs. We cry together and support each other when one of us is scared or upset. It is really important. With the Lupron a man has no hormones. He lacks some of the emotions and feelings. It leaves alot of anger. You have to help him by being open with him.
No one can tell what is at the end of the tunnel and the roller coaster will speed up and slow down at random. This is a horrible disease that eats away at the body and it changes and mutates at will we have no control over it. I find that praying gets us through most days.
God bless you and keep you strong through this battle.