I have come to the conclusion that as the Eastern Faiths teach, it is important to stay in the “here and now.” At my current age of 56 and being a three cancer survivor (including a recurrence) I have learned not to turn back and waste my energy on the questions like “why me.”
From the emotional side, the answer to this type of question just isn’t important, it would only be an unnecessary distraction that would only eat at me, sap my energy and upset my family. So, it just doesn’t matter to me. I am who I am and I have three cancers, so what.
I would be willing to allow a interested scientist to look back and see there is something in my physical being that lends itself to developing cancer, this might help others to forestall cancer. This would be the only legitimate reason to “look back.”
Today is important. Tomorrow is also important, but not as important because I really don’t know if tomorrow will come. I can not help but feel that the tomorrows will be more limited then I had hoped for, but I am here today.
So today I feel happy. Today I walk my dog and hear the birds and look at the flowers (isn’t spring wonderful). Today I smell the ozone after the thunder storm and feel the rain drops hitting my face. Today I get my shoes muddy and stub my toe. This is all I have, but I have it, I am very aware of it and I relish it.
“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” Cherokee
Joel T Nowak MA, MSW