Scott Goodwin who periodically has been writing about his journey taking chemotherapy has given us a very moving update. Sadly, Scott is not doing well physically, but he is continuing his valiant fight against this insipid disease. – JTN

I thought I would send a much overdue update on my progress with chemo, etc. I have had 15 chemo treatments with Taxotere. Now my psa is rising, slowly at first and then more rapidly. Chemotherapy is no longer effective.

As I am sure some of my fellow brothers in the fight can attest, chemo has a cumulative effect. During the initial few treatments I felt great, but as time went on it took a bigger toll on my body. When my psa doubled and my quality of life became an issue for me, I had a very frank talk with my Oncologist. In the end, I decided to halt treatment.

So, where do I go from here? For the last two years, I have been seeing an Oncologist at Duke University because I knew I would find my self in this situation at some point in the future. My decision was to go into a clinical trial when I reached this point.

My PSA is currently 7.7 with a doubling time of about six weeks. This doubling time is scary stuff.

My wife and I met with our Oncologist at Duke about two weeks ago. The news is to be eligible for the clinical trial I need to show signs of disease progression on either a bone scan or a CT scan. I had both scans done yesterday at Duke and frankly; I do not expect to see anything on these scans. The next scans that I have may tell a different story.

I do not know if some of you feel this way, but as long as I was being treated, somehow I felt like I had control over the cancer. Now, as I am only on Hormone therapy, I feel that the cancer has been set free to grow.

Clinical trials are my last defense. I feel helpless just having to wait for disease progression. We need earlier and better treatments. To qualify for a clinical trial is really the last thing I wanted. My wife and I also face the reality of knowing what is coming.

I will participate in clinical trials not as a martyr but just a man trying to slow down this disease. I also have an 11 year old son that I pray never has to go through any of this himself. Therefore, for my son and yours we all must try every option available to us.

I will continue to chronicle my journey on this blog. We are all in this together. Not just as men but as families as well. We all feel the highs and the lows.

I continue to surround myself with family and friends and appreciate what I have. My journey will most likely get rough this year and I will depend more and more on those that I love.

Keep fighting every day,

Scott Goodwin