I’ve been holding onto this article for a couple of weeks.Â When I first read it I was so livid, and visibly so, that I decided to not talk about it until I could form a coherent thought about it.Â Most of the thoughts that came to my mind involved four letter words.Â I am still not over the article and its contents, I’m justÂ more confident that I canÂ write somethingÂ more understandable.Â (OK, I’m going to stop being cryptic now.)Â
The articleÂ is about a father trying to get his son out of the foster care system and into his home.Â The problem is that the people that have been caring for his son for the last couple of years don’t want to give him up.Â I don’t understand how people can decide that they want to keep your kid and actually take you to court to try and make it happen.Â As a dad it baffles me that our court system would even entertain such nonsense, yet it does.Â I’m not surprised that the courts allow custody battles like the one detailed in the article, but I am pissed about it.Â
I don’t care how the kid got into the system in the first place. I’m from the so-called ‘hood andÂ I know all to well that sometimes the system steps in when they are needed and other times they aren’t.Â All I know is that this dad has done everything right up to this point in an effort to get his child back (a child that knows him by the way, the dad has had regular visits with his son) and he may not.Â Â
The main goal of any foster care situation is for the reunification of the family whenever possible.Â Any decent foster parent knows this and does not stand in the way of a child living withÂ a biological parent, especiallyÂ if the biological parentÂ is a good one.Â Those people (kidnappers?) that are trying to keep that man’s kid should be ashamed of themselves.
I didn’t understand the process of Foster Care initially. Admittedly, it was thoughts of what could a person possibly do to lose their child in the first place? I have never had relatives separated from their parents unless it was a divorce, but even then the father had a relationship with the children. So I admit, I thought the parent must have been an A-hole to lose their parental rights.
I came to realize regardless of how the separation happened, a parent is entitled to have their child back, especially if the parent has done or pass all the above requirements stated by law to get their child back. Still, I have seen lately, and read where the parent did these things, but some how fell back into old ways which endangered the kid(s).
African Amerian Dad, I didn’t know Foster Care pay well either. There are some in foster care who give a tenth more for the child than the parent who is having hard times. They are in it for the money, not the LOVE of the child. This is not always truth, but there are many cases where this is happening.
An experience I once had: My date and I was out to dinner, and a little boy say about 10 years walk up to the table and asked for the condiments. My date and I was talking and I didn’t see or hear him the first time. When I asked what did he say he mumbled the words….*SIGH*….I asked again because I didn’t understand him. He was too shy to ask again, but my date heard him. He asked for the ketchup, man. Before I could give it to him, a lady came over and said, “He’s ADOPTED, he wants the ketchup!”… Man, you should have seen the look on his little face.
I still don’t know why the lady felt it was necessary to tell us he was adopted. She didn’t say it angrily, but you could see in his face, it was not an idea situation….*sigh*….Little fella, just walk back to the table with his head down.
If anyone is using there home for Foster Care, please be aware of the sensitive nature of these young people coming through your home. I know it is not easy to open your home up to strangers, but don’t remind them of their plight either.