A bit of black spandex with a woman attached to it.   110 lbs., maybe. Blonde curly hair,  nice face, slim, bronzed, freckled. This is Dear Husband’s (DH) new “girlfriend”.  I’ll call her “Irene”. 

Irene has attached herself to Ted, like crazy glue!  She’s a friend of a friend; that’s how we got to know her.  And she’s recently divorced, so of course she needs a shoulder to cry on. And I’ll bet you can guess who that shoulder belongs to?  Ted.

Ted is a good listener.  Yesterday, DH reported to me:  Irene said that I am so “stable and level-headed“.  Well, that phrase just makes me crow: Yes, Ted is stable and level-headed, that’s what I fell in love with, the “Midwestern” in him.  

It’s like this: DH has lived in NY for 30 years.  Even so: “You can take the man out of Missouri, but you can’t take the Missouri out of the man.” 

You have to understand that, in frenzied New York, that Slo-Mo comes in real handy.

I do have a thing for corn-fed men, but then I like all men.  I got this “androphilia” from my mother.  She actually said to me once, “Men are a superior race”.  Well, English is not her first language, but I got the idea.  We come from an old world, religious culture, which worships men.  A little regressive, if you ask me. 

Back to Irene:  She just drops by our apt whenever she’s nearby, which is often.  And she always brings her bike.   The other day when she came she actually asked me to feel  her biceps to see how strong she is.  “You see that”, she said, “That’s how I am all over.”  Ripped, cut, defined. 

Kind of funny.  But I remember a time when I was into weight training myself, and I would want to show everyone my biceps, triceps, lats, abs, pecs, hamstrings, adductors, abductors and so forth.   

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