As I think about Fatherâ€™s Day and read the thoughtful card my mother in law sent me, I am reminded of why we set up this blog and why I record podcasts in the first place.
Tomorrow I probably will not call my father.Â He probably will not call me.Â I did not send him a greeting card in anticipation of the day, and he didnâ€™t send one to me.Â We donâ€™t talk much these days.Â We never said that we were officially no longer talking, so maybe we still are. Â I don’t know.Â I wonâ€™t get into the details, but Iâ€™ll say this:Â He left like so many other black dads.Â Or rather, he sent us away; five one way tickets (including my mother) from South Florida to Bed-Stuy Brooklyn.Â
My goal is to help prevent other father/child relationships from deteriorating to the point where talking seems like a terrible waste of time and emotional energy. Â My father and I have reconciled several times over the years, and we may do so again.Â Our feuds would start because of him feeling like I am his child and I should be calling/honoring him, while I feel like he is the father that sent us away and he should do all he can to try to heal old wounds.Â Neither of us has budged much from our positions.Â The reconciliations never lasted long.
I donâ€™t want that kind of relationship with my son.Â And I donâ€™t want you to have that kind of relationship with your children.Â Too much conflict, not enough good times.Â Thatâ€™s why I do this.Â
HAPPY FATHERâ€™S DAY TO ALL YOU DADS THAT STAYED (DIVORCED OR NOT) AND TO THE THOSE THAT WANT BACK IN YOUR CHILDRENâ€™S LIVES FOR GOODÂ Â