When I was diagnosed with a prostate cancer recurrence I was at the young age of 55 years. I live in New York City where there are a number of face-to-face support groups for prostate cancer, but none had any other men with advanced disease.
At a support group run by Malecare I finally lost my temper. All my anger at being diagnosed and feeling like I might have been the only young man with advanced prostate cancer in New York City welled up in me and burst out in an uncontrollable way.
I inappropriately expressed my growing anger and frustration to the group leader. Instead of reacting in a defensive manner this individual leaned back in his chair, smiled and challenged me. He simply responded to me by saying, “I agree, it must be hard being where you are and not having any resources to get you through this diagnosis”. He went on and said, “So, why don’t you do something about it?”
My immediate response was to let a number of additional four letter words roll out of my mouth, I turned and stomped out of the room feeling even more angry.
You see, he was partially correct and partially wrong, I did have many resources, especially my loving wife Wendy and the rest of my family, but I did not have any others who were like me, younger and with metastatic prostate cancer.
I returned home feeling even angrier than I had prior to this encounter. However, I thought about this challenge and after a few days decided that perhaps I needed to take it up. I met with Darryl, the Executive Director of Malecare, and agreed to join with Malecare and create a program specifically for men, like me, men with advanced prostate cancer.
Since I had this awakening I have worked diligently to create the first and still only advanced prostate cancer program for the support, education, and political advancement of men with advanced prostat