I try to remember to have the regular issues of normal living and not my prostate cancer control my life. Sometimes I am successful, and sometimes not. Finding the proper balance can sometimes be harder then at other times.
Even when I find that cancer creeps in and tries to takes control of my life, I find that cancer has also added to my life. Cancer has also taught me to view my life as a gift. The challenge that we all face is to figure out how to live our normal life with meaning and purpose.
Cancer did not give me a greater purpose, but it has given me additional purposes. Not more important purposes, but new ones. I am now more concerned about my family, about what will become my legacy and about my fellow brothers and sister who share my journey through cancer land. Cancer has challenged me to value every part of my life. It challenges me to grasp every moment, to hold it, explore it and understand it. It has actually provided me with additional directions.
To quote my friend Liz from one of the Kidney Cancer boards, “so I am not settling for â€œjust happy to be alive.â€ I have and will always be grateful for my life, and although I am certainly happy to be alive, I am not settling for the â€œjust to be aliveâ€ part.”
I want, no I will have more.
Joel T Nowak MA, MSW