It’s been a busy week for my family. My little dude performed in a Mothers Day thing at school that amused the masses, including his mother. Devin got in trouble for hitting his teacher, but apparently he hit the young lady because she accidentally knocked him down. I scolded him for the offense and punished him, though I kind of saw his POV. Of course he should never hit an adult, no matter what, though that fact didn’t keep me from empathizing with him from behind closed doors with my wife. Thankfully that rule doesn’t apply to me. No I didn’t hit anyone this week, that would be bad. But I’ll be darned if I didn’t curse a grown man out. Allow me to set the stage…
The three of us (me, my wife, and the Devil) were driving along at the start of our morning commute. It was a regular day: we were running late, Devil was yapping, and I was thanking god that I wasn’t driving because I was barely awake. This means my wife was at the wheel (despite the fact that I volunteered to drive because she had been in two fender benders this week already) and I was shotgun, chilling. At some point the wife makes a very legal, very mundane lane change. Nothing to think about. Then the guy she got in front of drives around to the left side of the car in his minivan and tries to get our attention. I tell my wife to roll down the window because he looked like he needed directions. The guy in the passenger seat of the van grills me, the driver asks my wife “What did you do that for?” My wife responded, “huh?” I thought about it and realized that this guy and his friend were calling my wife out over a legit lane change. So I answered in my most crazed voice “What? Shut the fuck up, man!!!!!!” The minivan driver looked at me, rolled up the window, and drove off.
Whenever my family is threatened in even the slightest way I lose my darn mind. This is not good. (I’m black so I’ve already got one foot in a jail cell and the other on a banana peel just from the simple act of existing.) I’m one of the most mild-mannered people you’ll ever meet until I feel like my family is being disrespected, in danger, wrongly accused, or a thousand other things. It’s some real alpha male crap. After the incident I felt terrible, especially when my son started lecturing me, “Daddy, that’s a bad word!. You shouldn’t say that word! You don’t talk like that.” He was right. All I could say was “yes Devin, you’re right. Daddy shouldn’t talk like that. I’m sorry.” And I was. My shrink thinks my fierce protectiveness of my family is normal. It feels normal, but I’m not 100% sure.
As for my wife’s two fender-benders this is how Devin summed them up:
1st – “A big purple car crashed into our trunk. It smashed into our trunk. It crashed into us.” (A panicked Hasidic man jumped out of his car and apologized profusely citing that he has five kids. My wife after being in her fair share of accidents decided it would take too much energy to get insurance companies involved, so she took his phone number, just in case, and went on about her business.)
2nd – “Mommy crashed into the back of a special bus. Mommy did it.” (The bus didn’t have a scratch and no one was on board except for a relieved bus driver that was glad he didn’t have to do any paperwork. Our car didn’t fare so well.)
Devin seemed unphased by both accidents.
I’m about as calm and cool as they come, but let someone threaten myself or my family and you’ll see the rabid pit bull come out. I worry less about my own safety or even that of my kids than for for the person who ever harms them. Ya girl will be up in jail if someone lays a hand on my kid point blank, I just have no sense when it comes to that. Thankfully those sensibilities have yet to be tested.
I definitely feel you on the anger rising when family is threatened. I barely utter a curse word in my day to day. But the day this dude started riding my bumper, gesturing and swerving around in traffic? Oh, please believe that I pulled up to him at the red light, rolled down my window and said words I didn’t even know I knew! Don’t play when Lovegirl is in the car dude, I will go all mother-lioness on you. Probably not the wisest or safest thing I’ve ever done, since I do believe that I invited him to pull over so that I could whup his . . . well, you get the picture! Happy belated Mother’s Day to your wife.
Hmm good reason why I will never drive in NY…Maybe Naptown traffic really isn’t that bad!
I’ve been very protective of my loved-ones all of my life – especially the female ones.
I’m convinced I have the potential to take it too far, but my father’s terrible example always reminds me of what I don’t want to become.
I think I’ve done pretty well, so far. I think you will, too.
My husband, pacifist to a damned fault (am I allowed to say that? Please excuse if I have violated a rule), got in this guy’s face at a red light after the guy was an idiot behind the wheel, reeling in and about the hubbie, who had the kids in the car.
To my great surprise, the guy apologized, saying he would cool it, and had not meant to endanger my kids. Who woulda guessed?
(Of course, my kids learned the word IDIOT! reallly early in life…being in the car with Daddy.)
My ex love the fact I was protective of her. But lets get one thing straight. I will come to my woman’s defense or be her defender long as she is not behaving as though she is going to whip some man’s A$$.
I understand everyone gets flustered, but I do not understand women threatening men. Maybe because I never saw my grandfathers, dad or uncles hit a woman. Argue with, yes, hit NO! I was always told to walk away from women, especially if she starts to call me derogatory names. What else is left but for a men to do but behave like a cave man, when called a bytch-azz so and so when in public.
I feel you though on the PROTECT FAMILY FIRST, the heck with your safety second. Be careful dude. Road Rage is REAL!!