As adorable and fun as our kids can occasionally be, they can also be equally annoying and nagging (sometimes on purpose). That’s why every now and then my wife and I like to reciprocate. We like to piss the little dude off. We know exactly what to do to leave his chubby checks flushed with fury as we laugh our fool heads off. It’s our way of bringing balance to our little universe. I don’t know if it’s healthy, but it certainly is fun! Here’s some of the stuff that drives the little man nuts…
Mommy and Daddy Kissing – Every now and then when I feel the boy needs some excitement I announce, just loud enough for the boy to hear, that I’m going to give mommy a kiss. It’s a declaration that pushes Dev’s Oedipal buttons every time. After making it you never know exactly what you’re going to get. He’s been known to say “stop all that kissing!” “No kissing!” “I’m getting out of here!” or simply “Noooooooooo!” while trying to separate us.
Anchovies on Pizza -For whatever reason the mere thought of little salty fish on a perfectly good slice of pizza repulses my boy (so does every other topping, but to him there is a special place in hell for anchovies). Knowing this, whenever we all go to the pizza shop I ask him “would you like anchovies on your slice?” His response hovers in the realm of hysteria as he announces to the world his loathing of the evilest of toppings. He then asks for “just a plain cheese slice.” To this I say “Ok, one anchovie slice coming right up!”
Dancing and Singing – Over time the Dev has decided that he is the only person in our family who is allowed to sing or dance to Alicia Keys. He has made it clear that she belongs to him (I think it’s part of his only child syndrome). So if we sing one of her songs, especially the “uh uh uh uh ohs” from her hit No One, or do the robot, he’ll insist we desist. He’ll tell us “you can’t sing my favorite part, you’re doing it all wrong!” or “no Rock ‘n’ Roll dancing to Alicia Keys!” (the latter statement is usually for me) Then he’ll sing it while doing his version of a contemporary dance. It’s all very weird and funny.
Lastly, if you say liberry instead of library within earshot of my tiny perfectionist, prepare to be enthusiastically and grumpily corrected by a four year old (I taught him that one).