I think about the dreams of mine that have come true over the last few years and I am appreciative. I published a written work, I wrote a book on black fatherhood that I will be publishing as an eBook in the coming weeks, I am Executive Director of a non-profit that I started and I am building up, I’ve been on the radio a number of times, kept this blog alive for five years, performed a few weddings. I’ve been here since the beginning when if you Googled “black dad” you got pornography – it’s a big reason why I started this blog and named it what I did. Google has come a long way and so has the black dad blog world. Devin has flourished. I feel lucky. Of course I’ve had some rough moments as well, including losing a job (a blessing really now that I can look back on it), sick family members, becoming estranged from my brother and plenty of other things as well. Still, I am grateful for the lessons and the opportunities for growth.
Of all the dreams that have come true there is one that simply will not. And this was one of those dreams that I have had since I was 19 when I decided I was going to write the next great American novel (that’s not going to happen either) – I wanted to do something that was worthy of getting booked on the Oprah Show. Not something horrible, some of her guests have been hot damn messes, but something amazing. Something that would leave my son proud. I’ve interviewed with her several times in my head and then at the end she would co-sign on whatever I was doing in that particular fantasy and my book would sell millions of copies, or my non-profit would raise millions of dollars over night to help fathers, or my blog would crash from the traffic and well wishes. But alas it’s not to be. Oprah whhhhyyyyyyy?! (me crying in a Cee Lo Green voice)
I must admit, I’m slightly relieved. It was hard to impress Oprah, even in my dreams. She’s tough! Now, only a few days after the end of the best talk show in history, I have shifted a bit. I want to do something worthy of the world. I want to do my part to change things and make it better. Not in a dramatic way, but rather my way, which now that I think about it may well be full of drama. As I often say: I can only be me, and I only want to be me. When it’s all said and done I want to be able to say I was the best me EVER. And if I don’t accomplish that goal I’m going to kick my own ass. If that means me taking yoga, getting all flexible and then side reverse kicking myself in the butt I will.
Well, I guess that means that I am just getting started in my post Oprah Show life (tongue firmly planted in cheek).