This is my tenth Father’s Day. When my first one came around my son was about 6 weeks old. By then I was officially among the ranks of the sleep deprived and utterly confused. Since those days there has been a lot of living going on. Growing too (especially Dev who is now 9 feet tall and 500 pounds). And of course learning. I have learned all kinds of things since I became a dad. I have a few that I’d like to share if I may be so bold.
1. Fatherhood is hard. It’s hard to get into the groove of fatherhood. We don’t carry babies for nine months in our bodies, or breast feed. It’s not really in our nature to be nurturing. We are wired to bonk dinner over the head with a club, bring it home, and ask wifey nicely to cook it. We are wired to go to work and to give most if not all of our money to the family, and that’s about it. Unfortunately, if we cannot do that we sometimes run feeling like we have not fulfilled our caveman duty. The “fight or flight” response seems to come into play. That’s why BDC stress the connection. If you connect to the family, you probably won’t run.
2. Fatherhood is easy. Getting into the grove of fatherhood is a choice. You say to yourself “I want in on this whole dad thing” and you do it. You know that you are not wired to be particularly nurturing, but you choose to work on that and build it up like a muscle. You still bonk dinner over the head, bring it home, but instead of giving it to wifey, you may even cook it. You go to work and make a few bucks (or more), but you try to get home in time for dinner whenever you can, and you know that your money isn’t enough to sustain your family. You know your family needs you. You don’t run. That running ridiculousness does’t even cross your mind. You know you want to be connected, so you connect the best way you know how.
3. Father’s Day is awesome. It’s no Christmas, or even Mother’s Day for that matter, but it’s the one day that Dads who don’t suck can pat themselves on the back. It’s the day where we can cook anything we want to on our grills. The day where we won’t feel guilty about watching the game. The day where our kids treat us like we are rock stars. The day where dads remember what it’s all for.
Happy father’s day to all you dads out there who are just doing your thing every day and not caring about statistics, blogger’s opinions, or which celebrity has claimed dad of the year (as measured by being in the best photo playing with their kid). And to all of your almost dads who have one on the way. Cheers!