At some point duringÂ the last couple of weeks I started jotting down some of the things that have come out of my boy’s mouth.Â Some of it’s cute, some of it’s weird, and since it’s my son, some of it’s mean.Â I’ll let you decide what should be categorized where.
- “Daddy, we need to go to the Statue of Liberty and buy some water for everyone.” – We were driving home from school (we’ve never been to Lady Liberty).
- “Be careful, don’t touch theÂ dootie that’s in my butt.”Â – I was helping him wipe.
- “I want chips right now Daddy.Â Now.Â Right now.”Â – Only moments before dinner.
- “I’m wiping your kiss off mommy.” – Well, his mother had just kissed him.
- “Devin, what’s that dance called?Â I really like it,” I asked.Â “Dancing,” he replied.
- “I don’t like you Daddy.”Â “Why?”Â I asked.Â “Because I don’t like anybody.”
- “Daddy, where’s mommy?”Â “Out with her friends,” I responded.Â “No she’s not! Mommy doesn’t have any friends!”
- “Daddy, this is excellent I love it!”Â – Referring to box macaroni and cheese.
- “Mama you couldn’t doÂ it, that’s why mommy did it.”Â – Talking to his great grandmother.Â Â I think it was something about a zipper.
- “It only hurts when you do this…. OUCH!” – He’s not even four yet, give him a break.
- “I have to watch Passions on channel 4 tomorrow.” – OMG.
- “Mommy lookit, it’s out of my underwear.”Â – I’m not going there.
And finallyÂ I do believe that my wife (my smart, witty, beautiful wife)Â summed it all upÂ afterÂ her and the boy finished an art project:Â “It’s like working with Helen Keller.”Â