My name is Keith and I’m a Facebook holdout.

For the last several months I’ve been leaning toward joining the club, but I can’t seem to bring myself to do it. I can barely keep up with my blog, and the in-the-flesh friends I have, much less an online community. Plus Facebook seems like so much work. Uploading photos, telling people what you’re up to, getting tagged for memes, accepting friends, responding to stuff, hoping people don’t post dumb crap on your wall, and so on. When will I have time to do this?

Most of my friends have accounts. One of my rebel best friends keeps me from joining by basically making me feel stupid for considering it. Others keep me from joining because they themselves – with accounts mind you – think it’s kind of stupid. “Don’t bother,” they say. Yet they check their profile every single day, just in case. But many, many folk think I’m old fashioned for not taking the plunge. My mentor/buddy even said it was fun.

Yesterday I came across this article in Slate and again I was being coerced to join the collective. The article even went as far as to compare the site to email and cell phones in its prevalence, viability, and overall usefulness. C’mon, Facebook is as important as cell phones? I am not prepared to buy into that.

I can think of tons people who I’d prefer to not have direct contact with me. I can think of many “friends” I would deny. There is no reason to rehash junior high school. It was traumatic when I was there and it will be traumatic to relive it before I start telling the stories to my son as he gets older. What’s more, I remember a few years back when someone from my high school waited on me and my family at a restaurant. He remebered me, but not the specifics as to why. I completely remembered him though – as a jerk senior who when I was a freshman used to bully people. He never did it to me directly but we were on opposing teams during a number of brawls that could have been take straight from The Warriors. The guy will likely recall me again, then ask to be a “friend.” Sure it’s in the past, but I’m maki