My name is Keith and I’m a Facebook holdout.
For the last several months I’ve been leaning toward joining the club, but I can’t seem to bring myself to do it. I can barely keep up with my blog, and the in-the-flesh friends I have, much less an online community. Plus Facebook seems like so much work. Uploading photos, telling people what you’re up to, getting tagged for memes, accepting friends, responding to stuff, hoping people don’t post dumb crap on your wall, and so on. When will I have time to do this?
Most of my friends have accounts. One of my rebel best friends keeps me from joining by basically making me feel stupid for considering it. Others keep me from joining because they themselves – with accounts mind you – think it’s kind of stupid. “Don’t bother,” they say. Yet they check their profile every single day, just in case. But many, many folk think I’m old fashioned for not taking the plunge. My mentor/buddy even said it was fun.
Yesterday I came across this article in Slate and again I was being coerced to join the collective. The article even went as far as to compare the site to email and cell phones in its prevalence, viability, and overall usefulness. C’mon, Facebook is as important as cell phones? I am not prepared to buy into that.
I can think of tons people who I’d prefer to not have direct contact with me. I can think of many “friends” I would deny. There is no reason to rehash junior high school. It was traumatic when I was there and it will be traumatic to relive it before I start telling the stories to my son as he gets older. What’s more, I remember a few years back when someone from my high school waited on me and my family at a restaurant. He remebered me, but not the specifics as to why. I completely remembered him though – as a jerk senior who when I was a freshman used to bully people. He never did it to me directly but we were on opposing teams during a number of brawls that could have been take straight from The Warriors. The guy will likely recall me again, then ask to be a “friend.” Sure it’s in the past, but I’m making a point. Not everyone from your past is supposed to be part of your present.
I know, I’m making excuses because there are different levels of access that you can set – blah, blah, blah. But that just brings me back full circle to my point about Facebook being work. I’ll have to maintain a trio of profiles just to make sure that I can avoid random guy from high school who once tormented my friends, though is now an upstanding member of society. I don’t see how or why I should build this into my life. My homie Darius has EVERY media and social networking outlet covered. I have no clue how he does because he also has a life.
What’s up with Facebook, friends? Are you on? Should I be? Let’s see if my peers can pressure me in any single direction.
I tried facebook. No use to me. Why split your attention. Stay on fatherdad…thats where I get you. Nice new look.
C’mon! No Facebook? Even a mature dog like me has one. It helps me keep up with friends and relatives who are flung across various continents, most of whom don’t blog. I tend to spend only a few minutes every couple of days on it. If I see someone has updated (especially the younger folks in the family) I’ll take a look at how they are doing.
The idea is to be as connected a you want to be. Don’t let the technology rule you, use it like a tool.
I enjoy your blog every time I make it by here. Be well…
I’m a father and I have two teenage sons that keep my busy. Being a parent of two inter-racial kids keeps me on my toes. Living in a large college town it makes it easier to deal with.
I’m the founder of http://www.culturallycool.com and http://www.buyrefurbtoday.com . So I like you don’t have time to ad another chore to my list of things to do everyday. Some people love Facebook and I have found most of them have a lot of free time to do so.
So unless you have extra time to spare leave it alone.
Um, love the new layout – and come on man…join the club. There’s a link to my facebook page on both of my blogs!
I too was a Facebook holdout until very recently. Now I’m loving it. I stay connected with family and friends that I would otherwise see only very rarely. Once it’s set up, you don’t have to spend that much time on it. And the privacy controls are awesome. I say go for it. If it doesn’t work for you, you can always delete your account.
“Sure it?s in the past, but I?m making a point. Not everyone from your past is supposed to be part of your present. ”
I blogged about this exact same thing and what you just said is the EXACT reason why I’m so uncomfortable about Facebook. I joined and used an alias just to see what it was all about, but I haven’t logged in for months. I just don’t have any desire to relive my high school years, and my college friends know exactly how to reach me so I haven’t felt the need to go any further back in time.
I have been a part of facebook for a while. I am not going to try and convince you of the merits or vices. I have both cursed it and been blessed by it. I do not add old jerks from High School because I have no need to plump up my friend count. It is fun when people scan in old photos & to relive a few memories. I would believe that some people would consider it as essential as a cell phone, some people hover on that site.You can really get a good feel for people’s mental heath from the way they update their status:
update: Brian is pissed off because his WIFE spent the savings AGAIN.
update: Brian is sleeping on the couch (again).
update: Brian is so @%^%ing tired of life.
and then the relationship break-ups. I am sure that this is how some people find out they have been dumped when their partners status goes from married – to single and looking.
So really it can be kind-of amusing at times too.
I love love love Facebook and was one of the first few people on it.
I’ve been on it so long that I have well over 500 friends, people who I really don’t need daily updates from. So I have to pare back and just get the essential people on there. I admit I had a Facebook addiction. (Shamefully, I have yelled at the computer when it wouldn’t let me log on.) But that’s okay. I’m better now.
So if you join, here are a few tips:
*Only friend people that you would feel comfortable talking to at least once a week.
*Set your privacy controls so only select people can view your profile.
*In the beginning, log on at least once per day so you can see what it’s all about. If you don’t, then you’ll never get it.
Just please try it out. It’s fun. I promise 🙂
I too am a facebook holdout. I am however on myspace. I check it maybe once a month. In the beginning it was great. I actually found a couple of people that I’d lost contact with, but that was a year ago. It’s not that exciting.
I agree with you on the high school friend point. I keep in contact with exactly 2 people from HS. They have my phone number. I don’t WANT to know the daily details of the girl’s life who used to taunt me in high school.
I was a holdout for like a year and NOW I’m totally addicted. Like, hardcore addicted. I absolutely love it. I’ve found folks I fell out of touch with and now we’re back to hanging out. I’ve even gotten together with some of my girls from when I was like 10! So go ahead and join… you’ll like it once you take the plunge! 😉
I was also a facebook holdout until just this week. I never thought I would ever find time for something like that. My husband, who is recovering from surgery, joined this week because he was a bit bored at home. And, he was having so much fun that I decided to try. I dipped my toe in at first, but today I found myself uploading vacation and wedding pictures for friends to see. I was also able to connect with a few friends from high school. I actually had fun. Not a bad way to spend a couple of hours on a lazy Saturday afternoon. I think it’s worth a try, and if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay too.
my goodness you sound just like my husband! he was in your boat….until i convinced him to join the fold. his first day online over 45 people requested to be friends with him. he was overwhelmed. he uses it only to promote his internet radio show. so, he has one foot in and one out.