Change is good, so they say. “Things done changed,” as Biggie once stated. Yet the most accurate quote about change I can think of is probably the now cliche statement “a baby changes everything.” No, the wife is not preggers again (not that there would be anything wrong with that). I’ve just been thinking about the pre-Dev me and the post-Dev me and they are not exactly the same person. I’m still sexy – if you’re a chubby chaser. I’m still brilliant – compared to the average seventh grader. It’s that other stuff that’s changed.
I wouldn’t say my life is centered around me, Dev, or my wife or any one else for that matter. Almost, but not quite. Instead I’d say that my life is centered around the idea of trying to do the right thing by the people I care about the most and the world at large. When you think about it, everything else in life works better when you do the right thing. Of course I don’t always do the right thing, I want to, but so far I can’t. Before Dev I was kind of money and success centered. And I was willing to get those things by any means necessary (short of criminal of course). See what I mean by how I’ve changed?
Before Dev I promised that if I ever had children I would not acknowledge Halloween or put up a Christmas tree. (The tree thing was about me not knowing the purpose of the tree in the celebration of the birth of Jesus. I figured I’d stack gifts in a corner.) Now I carve a pumpkin every year and I put up the tree the world’s most awesomest tree the day after Thanksgiving.
Before Dev the wife and I would be in the Caribbean or Key West at least once a year – sometimes twice or three times if our jobs sucked at the time and we needed more frequent respites. Now the thought of leaving the boy for longer than a night while I’m in another state, like nearby New Jersey, freaks me out. Lately I prefer to drag him anywhere we go.
Before Dev I was a hardcore liberal. Like super hardcore. Now I’m more of a moderate. I listen to all sides before making a decision or taking a side, or I stay neutral out of respect for people with strong opinions on topics that I don’t give a rat’s butt about. I still want to change the world and do my part to make it a better place. But now I think more about the best way instead of the most liberal way. It just so happens, however, that the best way is often liberal (or liberalish). Not that it matters ;-).
Before Dev I would eat anything I wanted to. Sure I was much younger in those days, and my metabolism was faster but that’s true of all youngsters. Now as I creep toward my third decade of life I’m toying with the idea of becoming a vegetarian. I’ll have to give up the loves of my life – sausage and chicken – yet somehow that doesn’t seem so bad. I want to do all I can to make sure I’m around for every major event of Dev’s life, and mine too for that matter.
I think overall that my changes have been for the better. I want my son to be happy and safe and I’m willing to do what I have to to make sure that happens. I’m still not materialistic. I wear pants with holes in them to work. I’m uncertain if that is because I haven’t had the chance to try shallow materialism on for size or if it’s because I never will be. After over 11 years in non-profit, ever so slowly moving up and learning, money obviously is not my motivator. Especially since I still don’t have any.