A friend (let’s call her “Friend”) went to her off-site office party last week and had quite the tale to tell the next day. I’m not talking about the usual story of executive staff getting frisky with their subordinates after downing too many free Mojitos. We can all tell that story. I’m talking about something a lot more, well, racist.
The wack music was pumping, the wine was flowing out of bowl-sized glasses faster than it was being poured into them, and people were too relaxed. Friend noted early on that the minority representation at the shindig was comparable to that of the the U.S. Senate’s. (To further build upon the the analogy she was Barak Obama and the colleague she was hanging out with that night was Robert Menedez.) As she scanned the crowded floor searching for familiar faces she came to the realization that she did not know as many of her co-workers as she had thought she did. At some point Black Eyed Peas came through the sound system sparking a rush of younger staff to the dance floor. This is the short, stupid conversation she overheard:
“That’s my song!” Shouted White Girl 1 loud enough to get Friend’s attention.
“Yeah that’s that gangsta shit, my nigga,” responded White Girl 2, dancing like a lame-ass version of Fergie.
When White Girl 3 joined them, White Girl 2 greeted her, “What’s up nigga?” To this Friend turned around, not hiding the fact that she was considering jumping on her, and asked “exuse me, what did you just say?” White Girl 2 flushed to a shade of peony and pretty much shrieked “Oh my god she heard me!” then ran off. Her friends trailed after her flashing guilty smiles of apology before vanishing into the crowd.
Yes, black people should stop using the N-word. If you need to be reminded as to why just click on the link in my blogroll titled Abolish the “N” Word. That being said, I understand why black people do, and I’ll be honest enough to admit that the word slips from my lips when certain emotions overtake me. Nevertheless it’s never ok for white people to say it. Not at an office party and not when they think nobody’s listening. If it was ok to say it the girl would have never run off probably fearing for her career, and also mortified by the prospect of being labeled a racist. And no, Black Eyed Peas is not that gangsta shit.
I just watched the intro to Abolish the “N” Word website and the sadness I felt is overwhelming.
My son and daughter are 1/4 black. My wife is half-black who was adopted by her white parents. I have given considerable thought about what I want to teach my children about race and culture and I’m still not sure how I’m going to do it – but I know that respect for all races and cultures will be the greatest emphasis. And the N word won’t be allowed. When they ask why, I’ll show them those photos.
Keith,
I applaud your honesty in admitting your own use of the “n” word. When it comes to this subject, too many of our folks appear to be out here frontin’ and actin’ all hypocritically self-righteous–as if such a word would NEVER cross their pristine lips (smile). I admire, as well, your call to abolish the word. But I must confess, my own feelings about the issue are mixed.
In the dirty South, where I’m fron, the word is far too entrenched amongst Black folks to go anywhere anytime soon. Heck, I’ve even heard the word tossed about, on more than one occasion, in Sunday School (smile). I think it’s safe to say, any move to outlaw the word’s use would probably prove about as successful as the move to outlaw liquor during Prohibition.
Do I like hearing white folks use the word? Nope. Do I think our use of the word grants them permission to do so as well? Absolutely not. But you wanna know when I most hate hearing that word? When I’m out in public somewhere and I hear a group of youths, generally African American males, using the word loud and repeatedly . . . “N” this. “N” that. “N,N,N” as if the intent is to put on a show of ignorance and self-hate for all to hear and see. That’s when I hurt the most . . . not for them . . . not for me . . . but for us.
Perhaps, in the long run, we’d all be better off trying to rid ourselves of the “mindset’ that allows us to so easily call each other out of our names. In this regard, I think those African American hip-hop performers, who have turned calling Black women b’s and h’s into a lucrative art form, need to be held to the same type of language scrutiny.
some things are not funny and cannot be made funny. for example, http://bhupindersingh.blogspot.com/2006/12/tips-and-tricks-to-kill-baby-girls.html,
and then there are things that make you cringe, like your office party girls, and white people “acting black” in general.
I CAN NOT stand ignorant people. And I have to agree with you; I don’t like the N word and can not understand why we (not me) continue to use a word that is so demeaning to our race. IGNORANT! UGH!
Black eyed peas, gangsta? That is HILARIOUS!
Oh, shoot! I meant to tell you and yours Happy Holidays. I hope you all have a wonderful X-mas!
Keith,
This is a tough one, like most (if not all) Black folk, I have used the n-word. There was a time when I was an unabashed user – ok, that was my confession – confession over!
Like a previous poster wrote, it is not cool for Black folk to use it. But if Friend’s co-workers were “acting Black” and they have not been living in a cave since birth, they’ve undoubtedly heard Black people use the word – at times, they’ve heard it used with impunity. They know its use is as wrong as you do, but you continue to utter the n-word on occassion yourself. I’ve no doubt uttered it sometime in the past week when suffering at the hands of some imbecile working a cash register at a local fast food restaurant!
My stance on this whole nigger/nigga thing is this: until Black people “abolish the n-word,” we cannot realistically expect anyone else to abolish its use for us! As long as rappers, chickenheads, video ho’s, dudes huggin’ the block, preachers, Sunday School teachers, school teachers, principals, bloggers, and guys who get up every morning and put on a suit for work continue to use the n-word, then there’ll be whites, asians, latinos, and Friend’s co-workers who will use it, as well.
It’s not on them to stop, because the double-standard is on us!
I have to say, I really enjoy reading your blog. It’s very enlightening. But I must say, about the campaign to abolish the ‘n-word’, it’s utterly a stupid thing to attempt. Conceptually, you can’t abolish words, atleast not in the United States. Even though I feel words can’t be banned, I do believe that the n-word should never be uttered from any tongue, no matter the race.
http://www.blacksalvage.blogspot.com