These are all things my wife, people we know or have overheard, or I myself have said. In print they look a little insane. My how parenting has changed…

5. Wife to husband: “Our son needs a laptop computer, you know, for school projects.”

4. Friend to friend: “Sure we can have a play date. I can fit you in after soccer and before yoga. But only for 45 minutes because he must be centered before class.”

3. Parent to child: “No, you can’t have any Kool Aid. What is that anyway?”

2. Parent to child: “Your MySpace page is restricted to only friends and family, ok?”

1. Husband to wife: “Perhaps we should get her a cell phone in case of emergencies.?Let’s?get something with GPS.”

Got any more?