gun-green-man.jpgi don’t sugar coat it.  It’s just that damn nail biting time until you get the results in hand, then,  after the good news,  the sun comes back out and the black clouds go away….. until it’s time for the next psa test……..

but for the “what it’s worth” dept.,  the past two times i’ve gotten a careless attitude toward my psa test and i don’t know why.  well, yes, i do.  it has to do with my vietnam  experiences.    the best way i can explain it is picture yourself in a hostage situation and you have a gun at your head 24/7.   and they keep making threats to shoot you if you don’t do this or don’t do that.  at first,  it scares the hell out of you.   then,  as the stress wears on for hours,  days, and weeks, and finally months.   you will finally get to the point that the threat of the gun doesn’t bother you and gets to where it irritates you and you will scream at them,  “use it or put it away, but just don’t stand there!!!!!”

after so many psa tests,  that is the gun.  and after a while,  you get to the last part of where it doesn’t bother you.  and that is where i’m not sure.  if i got a positive psa reading,  my stress level would probably go back on full alert again.

I think psychologists would call Curtis’ method “desensitization.”