Black is beautiful. That statement sounds a bit antiquated all these decades after the “black is beautiful†movement of the 60s, but it is one of those things that seems to have never really sunk in. Let me tell you why I say that…
Several months ago I found myself kind of pissed of at the radio. A popular on air radio personality from a morning show originating in the New York City area said to the hundreds of thousands of teenage listeners the show boasts that he thinks that Alek Wek and Naomi Campbell are ugly. He himself is a black father with a young daughter, so I was shocked that with such seriousness he told his impressionable listeners that those beautiful black women were ugly. Even if that is his opinion at what point do you hold off for the sake of the emotional well-being of our children? What was the 15 year old dark skinned black girl that already questions her own beauty and self-worth thinking at that moment? She has very little representation on television and in magazines as it is and probably wonders why. Rappers and R&B singers seem to hold casting calls for beautiful women of all races except black, and here he was telling the male and female youth of the city those two supermodels are ugly. I think that kind of self-hate is sad and should be addressed at a young age. Us black people possess many different shades, facial features, and hair types, and all these things together should be embraced and cherished.
If you are the father of a young girl tell her that she is beautiful. Remind her that what makes her beautiful is her smile, the special shape of her nose, the positive way she looks at life, how much she loves her friends and family, the shade of brown skin that she was blessed with. Basically any and all the things that you can think of that a dad should notice. Odds are sooner or later she’ll have some pubescent boy telling her many superficial things about her beauty, which is an entirely different topic, but for now daddy’s little girl is beautiful simply because she is.
That brings me to boys. We must teach our little guys to respect and honor their black women. I remember a comedian, I think it was Mike Epps, that said it best “It’s not your booty, it’s your beauty.†(Or was it vice versa?) A bit crass I know, but it sums it up. Physical attributes are secondary to all the others. We must teach our sons that a woman’s beauty comes from her humor, her joy, her strength, her kind heart, her brilliance. The shade of her skin or texture of her hair should never be what a young man uses to decide whether or not someone is beautiful. And, by the way, you have my support in grounding your son’s for life if they use the B-word in reference to any woman, ever. Start from young.
Hi,
I just stumbled across your site. I absolutely love it!!! Keep up the good work. Lori D.
heya!!
Im from the UK, and like many people in the US, I too believe that black people still have many challenges to face in terms of our self-esteem, acheivement and self acceptance. Your site is one of a kind. very rare and very interesting
If Black is beautiful, to which I totally AGREE, then why subject yourself to being called an “African-American”. If there is one word in the English dictionary [the only dictionary that I can actually even read, as to I only know English] the word or phrase “African-American” is the most disturbing. I hate that word with a purple passion. I myself and a Black woman. American Negro, but NOT an African-American. It’s like this word just popped up out of NO where. Used as a way to make Blacks “think” they were being politically correct, when really the were just being bamboozled into believing another “false hype”. I just stumbled upon your website today, and was reluctant to read anything, because of your title. But one must not judge. But my question again, why do you choose to be “African-American”? Are you from Africa? If so than I do understand. But please know that if you are a Black man from America than you are NOT “African-American”. That is a made up category for Blacks who are from America. Because a white man from Africa is too an “African-American” and please believe he is not to be in any category with me besides, American. So Black man, Black man, please stand alone.
God Bless.
Keith…well said. As a dad of 2 girls it terrifies me to think about their furure relationships with men. It’ a tremendous repsonsiblility to , as a man, raise another one. I was actually relieved that I dodged that bullet because I always feared not being able to do it. Of course, I suspect that raising two girls isn’t exactly going to be a breeze, but you get my point. So do a good job with your little man, and I’ll tell my girls to be nice. I think we all remember how enjoyable teenage girls can be.
Later-Mitch
Keith.
This has quieted me in a way I cannot quite explain.
It is so simple to be nice. So simple to avoid being nasty, to avoid broadcasting one’s own self-loathing in the guise of a considered, respectable opinion.
Remember the maxim, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?” Throws one back in time as well, back to Black Is Beautiful – and before, I’m sure.
Both seem to be a golden rule. Both seem to have been thrown aside for the more trendy ‘freedom to express’ one’s self any way one chooses. The codes of subtlety, nuance, poise and grace are dispensed with in today’s world…within and without our communities.
Tell you what, let’s usher it back in.
What a great post! I do exactly what you’re saying with my daughter. Everyday, her hair is beautiful. She has beautiful brown skin. She has beautiful thighs. She is destined to achieve greatness. She is a superstar. She is a great person. We instill these affirmations in her each and every day (she’s not yet three years old) because when I was growing up, we didn’t get this encouragement. In fact, as a young black girl, I was picked on and called “oreo,” hurtful because it came from my “own people.” Crazy!
And it’s a shame that people have to come to your site to offer mindless comments that have nothing to do with the intent of the encouraging words you are offering. I’m so sorry for that.
I’ll be back!!!
that statement was beautiful and to the point
Well, not every Black America is an African-American. African-American is more of an ethnic demarcation. It just signifys a grouping of people from the same ethnic group (of course with a very large umbrella: creole, “biracial”, etc.). The black is still there.
Wow, sir! You are awesome! Thank you for that message. I despise the self-hatred that African Americans (and other ethnic and “racial” groups) have for themselves. It is enraging to hear African Americans refer to their own women (and even children!!!!) as “UGLYâ€! Incidents of white people describing of their children as “ugly” has yet to be observed. They have pride and love themselves (culturally). I am glad that someone realizes that young African American women (babies, and girls) need to be praised, complimented, and treated like princesses by her parents and relatives throughout their lives, just as much as females from other races. Once that is realized, there will be a domino effect on African American boys, which will yield children with better, healthier self-images.
Thank You, Mr. Keith!!!
Sincerely,
M. Battalglia
I stumbled upon your blog while searching for positive affirmations for black women. What a powerful piece. I am 26 years of age on a spiritual quest and an overall life journey to make my mark and meet my destiny in this world. I thoroughly enjoy meeting people that have positive, uplifting messages, lifestyles, etc. about our culture. Sad to say, those are hard to find through all the BS of this day and time. I know that this message is a day late and a dollar short, yet and still a powerful piece indeed.