I know, we all have our prostate cancer story where we are told how lucky we are that we have prostate cancer. The conversation goes on something like, “Oh you are so lucky, you have the GOOD cancer, you should be so thankful.” Then it is often followed up by something like, “My (father) (brother) (uncle) (cousin) (friend) had prostate cancer fifteen years ago and he is fine. No big deal, you are so lucky. You would never know that he HAD cancer.”
My wife recently shared a story with me. She attended a fund raising function for a breast cancer survivor support organization. Seated next to her was a practicing breast cancer oncologist. In their conversation, my wife mentioned that her husband had advanced prostate cancer. When the doctor asked how old I was she was shocked that I was in my 50s. She told my wife that she thought that only men over 75 years get prostate cancer and that because of their age they die from something else.
This weekend I was walking my dog on a country road in the Berkshire Mountains in Massachusetts. I met a neighbor who I haven’t seen in over two years. As we are talking she notice the rubber bracelets I was wearing (for awareness of my four primary cancers – thyroid, melanoma, renal and recurrent prostate cancers). She asked what they were for and when I said prostate, before I could finish the list she interrupted me and said, “Oh good, prostate cancer is nothing to worry about.” I then went on and added that actually I had metastatic prostate cancer and that this year we will be losing 32,000 men to the disease. She was embarrassed and quickly changed the subject.
I don’t blame this neighbor; she was only reflecting the public image that exists about prostate cancer. I do blame us, men, for not being honest with ourselves about our medical problems. I blame the media for not being balanced and not adequately explaining the reality of prostate cancer, it is the second largest cancer killer of men in the United States. I blame the politicians for allowing medical decisions to become politicized.
As far as the breast oncologist, shame on her. Was she asleep in class? I don’t think I can say anything more about her.
Well, I don’t feel lucky and I don’t think that I have a good caner. There isn’t any cancer that is a good cancer. You can bank on that from a four cancer survivor. There is NO GOOD cancer.
Joel T Nowak, MA, MSW
I would agree as both the patient and a physician. There are no good cancers. There are some worse than others. It is all relative. I would rather have a highly treatable testicle cancer which is curable, loose a testicle, retain my hormones can live forever. However I would also rather have one I have which is incurable and pancreatic cancer and perhaps I may get some longevity without more hormones.
I am on the list for Provenge at Dana-Farber. I am approximately 100. This may be available for him in October. This may not be covered by insurance and will cost approximately $94,000. The good news is I can come up with the money, the bad news is I need the medication. Nose is worse for others or not fortunate enough financially to seek out these treatments.
Continue the good work. I look to your blog for information regarding my own treatment and care of my patients.
Regards,
Marc L. Nierman, M.D.(urologist)
Interesting and sad that an oncologist had so little understanding of prostate cancer. Yet, this emphasizes why we so often encourage patients to seek out a physician with expertise in whatever option they are planning to receive for their cancer, and seek out Medical Oncologists with specific knowledge and expertise regarding recurring and advanced prostate cancer. I certainly agree with you, Joel, that there is absolutely no GOOD cancer.
Dr. Nierman,
Put yourself on other waiting lists at other infusion centers. There is no consistency among the infusion centers so waiting time can be different at different centers. I also suggest that you try and get on the list at some centers in the north east. – Joel
That is shocking from a nurse…What also annoys me is that people make out that an early diagnosis can cure everything…sure we need to make sure men get tested early, but having an early diagnosis does not mean that the cancer will be cured (there is a very good chance though of course) or will not come back. The same, if cancer comes back or is advanced it does not mean that the patient didn’t go to the doctors or it didn’t get diagnosed early!
Thanks Joel — your posting captures the ignorance and/or lack of empathy of some people, including family members who have said similar remarks to me about my husband’s advanced prostate cancer. I end up feeling misunderstood (& alone) in the face of people I care for — not to mention casual acquaintances. Next time this happens, I will “educate” them about how prostate cancer can take away those we love the most. 32,000 lives a year is not good. It’s tragic.