Keith showed up at one of our weekly support groups and was greeted warmly by a number of the longer-term regulars. Once the group started, the leader Darryl turned to him and asked how he was doing and what brought him back to the group.
It seemed that Keith was again in trouble with his prostate cancer. For the benefit of us slightly newer group participants who did not know him, he shared a brief history of his battle with advanced prostate cancer. Keith was stricken with multiple mets through out his body. He had elected to forgo traditional treatment and became an avid supporter of alternative treatments. He consulted with many homeopathic physicians, was a believer in doing body cleansings and monitored his diet like nobody else I have met. He took many supplements including a fermented wheat product he swore by.
What interested me most was a treatment he took in Germany. The treatment involved receiving infusions of a dendrite treatment that sounded, by his brief description, similar to Provenge (search for my many posts about Provenge and prostate cancer vaccines). If I remember correctly, he had already been to Germany on two separate occasions for this treatment. Each time his PSA dropped significantly and came back under control.
Keith had recently married a much younger woman (I believe that Keith himself was only about 50 years old). He described her as “a hot blooded Brazilian” who enjoyed sex. He relished in his decision to forego traditional treatment and thus maintain his potency. They traveled extensively and clearly enjoyed each other.
Keith shared that he had been lulled back to his old job as a trader on Wall Street. He reported that soon after returning to work, which provided him great levels of tension, his prostate cancer again re-emerged and his PSA skyrocketed. He quit the job and swore never to go back to work. However, he was not able to regain control of the cancer.
He stopped coming back to the group, but occasionally he was in contact with some of the group members. Recently, one of the group members reported that during the week he attended Keith’s funeral!
In retrospect, I admit that in a short time I grow to respect Keith and his decisions. I envoy his ability to make decisions that are not traditional. I also envoy that he was able to maintain his sexuality despite his doctors telling him he was making great errors. His decisions were correct for him, so I think of Keith with great reverence and respect.
Joel T Nowak, MA, MSW
Joel,
I am a hospice Chaplain with a patient who is dying with prostate cancer. He is declining fast. I anticipate that he has less than 3 months at this point. He wants to know what is ahead of him. He asked me how he would die. I don’t have an adequate (what would be adequate) answer for him. He wants a book that would tell him about how someone dies from prostate cancer. Do you have any help for him?
I have sent the following responce to Jeff:
Jeff,
Before I try to answer your question, I want to thank you for the difficult work you do and the service you provide to people who will never be able to repay your kindness. In my faith, the Jewish faith, the highest deed anyone can perform is a deed that cannot be returned. You have chosen to make your world fulfilling some of our most important “mitzvahs”, visiting the sick, tending to the mourners and helping a soul after death.
I am not aware of much written material that will answer your client’s concern. The only things I am aware of are:
1- Free 20 page booklet at: choicesbrochure.pdf written by a prostate cancer patient while he was dying.
2- A description about the dying process (general) which is written more for the family. I am sure that you are very familiar with the information, but for anyone else interested they can read it at: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Life-Support-Issues-2065/expect-stage-IV-prostate.htm
I would like your permission to share your request with a few “on-line” boards to see if anyone else can make some additional suggestions.
I also would ask if you would consider writing an on-going narrative about your experience as a hostile chaplain, both in general and in specifics about your experience with this particular man who is dying from prostate cancer. I know you need to discuss it with him because I do not want you to violate any confidences. In light of how little has been published this would be very helpful to the rest of the community.
Again, thank you for your work and I look forward to hearing back from you.
Joel
I have sent the following responce to Jeff:
Jeff,
Before I try to answer your question, I want to thank you for the difficult work you do and the service you provide to people who will never be able to repay your kindness. In my faith, the Jewish faith, the highest deed anyone can perform is a deed that cannot be returned. You have chosen to make your world fulfilling some of our most important “mitzvahs”, visiting the sick, tending to the mourners and helping a soul after death.
I am not aware of much written material that will answer your client’s concern. The only things I am aware of are:
1- Free 20 page booklet at: http://www.choicesbrochure.pdf written by a prostate cancer patient while he was dying.
2- A description about the dying process (general) which is written more for the family. I am sure that you are very familiar with the information, but for anyone else interested they can read it at: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Life-Support-Issues-2065/expect-stage-IV-prostate.htm
I would like your permission to share your request with a few “on-line” boards to see if anyone else can make some additional suggestions.
I also would ask if you would consider writing an on-going narrative about your experience as a hostile chaplain, both in general and in specifics about your experience with this particular man who is dying from prostate cancer. I know you need to discuss it with him because I do not want you to violate any confidences. In light of how little has been published this would be very helpful to the rest of the community.
Again, thank you for your work and I look forward to hearing back from you.
Joel