He’s barely been president for a half a day and I’ve already got a gripe: Why wasn’t I invited to at least one of the ten official inaugural balls? I could have shined up my UGGs and shaved for the occasion. I can do the robot and the snake with the best of them. I’m pretty certain that I would have successfully figured out which was the salad fork, and which one was for shrimp. I’m fun, really I am. And so is my wife. I may even have taken the wife to Bolton’s for a new dress. In the next four years I expect this oversight to be corrected. I’m patient. I’d be happy to stay in the Lincoln bedroom for a night – I don’t need a big party or event to attend. Perhaps we can set up a playdate with Sasha and Dev at Camp David. I’m open and so is my family. I’ll have my people call his people.