A furious week of reading and education of all the options before our next appointment.

Option#1…. Observation with Monitoring: Exam+PSA
Okay,  lets do nothing?   I’m forty-seven?  How long before the cancer gets out of the prostate and into the surrounding lymph nodes and tissue?  That is if in fact it has not already spread?    Damn!!   Jeez!!   Lets see, uhm? do I want death now?  or later?  Lets take a big pass on this one.

Option#2…. Radical Prostatectomy
Oh wow,  I can be neutered and never produce jizim again?   I don’t quite understand? Nerve sparing surgery technique?  How in gay hell do you spare the emotional trauma after surgery when you have to learn to piss again?   To orgasm without cum?  Possible impotence, and incontinence?  I’m more confused than a one legged cat trying to bury shit on a frozen pond!!

Option#3…. Radiation Therapy, External Beam or your choice of Radioactive Seeds?  Say what??  Would I like  fries with that?   I can only decipher that if they fry all the nerves, there is still no guarantee that cancer will not return, and then have to have a salvage prostatectomy with no chance of nerve sparing?   Oh jeez, the possibilities are endless?  A bottle cap cock and a sack of scrotum wrinkles with balls that retract into the body cavity?  Impotence to boot!!  What a pretty picture!!

Option#4…. Cryotherapy?   Comparable to  radiation by freezing the cancer cells to death. A new treatment with no long time results yet?  OINK..OINK. me?  A guinea pig ?   Lets not even go there!

Option#5…. Hormone Therapy.  This involves removing all the testosterone from the male body, and treating with female hormones that cause the cancer to go dormant!  Now, most of our friends would say anyone who kept a large feathered boa under the skirted table in the living room was “NELLIE”  enough.  Oh great.. Like the world needs another a