The doctors told me that I have recurrent prostate cancer, they stamped on my forehead a little sign that says “EXPIRES ??/??/20??. I have tried and tried to wash that stamp off my face. No matter what I do it still remains, setting me apart from everyone else. I am not ready to expire nor am I “ Best By ??/??/20??”, the other stamp that has recently appeared.
Having cancer gives notice, notice that we will expire, but there are still remains question marks on the dates. We know these dates exist, that they are real. We know that they will rear their ugly heads sooner than we ever expect and sooner than we otherwise would wish. But, we do know they are there, serving as a warning to us and all the people who can read those stamps.
I am not feeling ready to die. I have things I want to experience, things I want to see, things I want to be a part of, but I also know that I have been given notice, I have been stamped, whether I like it or not.
So, I need to find a way to do as much as possible each and every day. I need to see everything around me and embrace it all. I need to extend that “SELL BY” date (I also have one of those) while also using every day before the expiration date as best as possible.
If I am not prepared, I have nobody but myself to blame. I am not into blaming myself for anything, so I will continue to use everyday left to the fullest I possibly can. So should you.
Joel T Nowak, MA, MSW
I commisserate, given that in April 2009 a Prof. who is the Director of Urology at The Royal Melbourne Hospital, Australia gave me my “Use By Date”, in reference to my Metastatic Prostate Cancer in a correspondence, stating
“Mr. Hoskins now has a lethal, very advanced prostate cancer. I suspect that his prognosis would be less than four years of life expectancy.”
And so the clock ticks, soon April 2010, then July 2010 my 24 months of ADT2 treatment and that treatments potential use by date.
No man is an Island.
Paul Hoskins, Queensland, Australia
Joel,
Thank you. I really hadn’t looked at my situation quite like that. I mean, if you had a tub of sour cream [won’t find that in my refrigerator anymore. Too much fat for my A.P.C.] that was to expire in two days. Wouldn’t you think “wow I better make stroganoff tonight”?
Thanks
Mike