I have been getting letters from distraught women whose relationships with their husbands have suffered since their treatment for prostate cancer. This subject needs to be discussed extensively, but for starters, I have compiled a list of potential resources. (Excuse me if this is not the King’s English, but I have rushed this through because of the urgency of the topic.) If you know of a resource I haven’t mentioned, please contact me. By the way, the following list is not in any particular order.
“Saving Your Sex Life After Prostate Cancer“, Dr. John Mulhall. (Hilton Publishing, available at Amazon.com for $12.21.) A must-read. This book just came out and I have already come across a number of favorable reviews from patients. Dr. Mulhall knows his stuff. As an expert in Sexual Medicine at MSKCC, he treats about 800 PC patients a year.
http://www.renewintimacy.org/. The website of a couple, both professional psychotherapists, who have struggled with ED after prostate cancer. They do tout their own book, but I have heard it’s excellent.
sexhealthmatters.org . Website of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America. That’s where I look first for referrals to ED specialists of all kinds (MDs, social workers, nurses, etc). There is also a lot of general information on their webstite for people struggling with ED.
http://www.sda.uk.net, Sexual Dysfunction Association, UK. They have good “fact sheets” on various subjects relating to PC and ED. We in the U.S. need to catch up with them.
ladies-prostate-forum. “A wonderful online forum for *ladies only* that has an ‘intimacy’ section. The women are very supportive and caring.”
http://www.prostatepointers.org/mailman/listinfo/pcai. The PCAI (PC and Intimacy) listserv sponsored by prostatepointers.org (part of UsToo.org). This is an excellent discussion group for people who are struggling with relationship and sexual problems after treatment for PC. No subject is taboo, and the participants go out of their way to help. There is also a list of ED specialists posted at the end of each message.
prostatecancerinfolink.net. A good source of news as well as a “social network ” for people dealing with PC. The site debuted some months ago but already has about 700 participants. Check out such groups such as “Wives and Partners” and “ED and Incontinence” . There is also a “closed” group called “Of Sex and Sexuality”. You just have to ask to join.
hisprostatecancer.com. A relatively new site by PC wife and professional writer Dana K. The content seems high-quality, and you can post your own story.
http://www.menshealthnetwork.org/wapc/index.php . Website of “Women Against Prostate Cancer”. These women have embarked on an important project, which is to compile information on PC and sexuality that can be given to patients and their partners *before* treatment. Forewarned is forearmed.
conquerprostatecancer.com. A blog which covers a variety of subjects, from ED treatments to humor. It also seeks to promote the book, “Conquer Prostate Cancer: How Medicine, Faith, Love and Sex Can Renew Your Life”, by PC patient and rabbi, Ed Weinsberg (with Dr. Robert Carey). I read a preview of the book and liked it. One reader wrote that it gave her a window into what actually goes on in sex therapy, which the rabbi and his wife pursued after his treatment for PC (with robotic laparascopic surgery).