A man posted this yesterday in one of the prostate cancer newsgroups and I was very concerned because I’ve gotten similar messages from desperate women.  I applaud this man for being proactive in seeking help for his wife.  His message:

“. . . now at 6 years my wife, who has been brave and supportive and with me all the way, is beginning to show battle fatigue, and needs help.  Not being a woman, I fall short in the area of understanding (I can intellectualize but it’s not the same thing).

Is there an elist like this one that is a support group for wives of prostate cancer men, one where she could safely discuss sexual and other (I’m sure there’s a bunch) PC recovery issues?”

So I would like to point you to some excellent resources: 

http://prostate-help.org/ladiesjoin.html — This forum belongs to a site I call for short the “Don Cooley” site.  Prostate-help.or is an excellent resource; its strength is giving solid *patient to patient* advice from street-smart, knowledgeable people.   And they have won an award for their blog.  So check out the site and then join the exclusive ladies group which is moderated and contains some very savvy and supportive women.

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PCa_Women/ — this is a yahoo group called “PCa Women” and although I don’t have a chance to follow the postings closely, I do check on it now and then and it looks like an excellent and active group for women to join.

http://www.prostatepointers.org/mailman/listinfo/pcai — This forum is part of UsToo’s Int’l’s excellent prostate pointers mailing list series.  There are lists on all sorts of topics — I belong to about 8 of them.  This group, PCAI (prostate cancer and intimacy) is not exclusively for women but allows participants to air issues that come up in relationships between PC patients and their partners.  Especially sexual issues.  Overall it is an excellent group because people are very honest and give a lot of themselves.

I also would like you to know of a general resource for partners who need to talk to somebody right away.  Through cancercare.org, telephone counseling on a one-on-one basis is available for caregivers who are experiencing distress.

Telephone Individual Counseling

No matter where you live in the country, a toll-free call to CancerCare’s 800-number puts you in touch with a professional oncology social worker who can help answer your questions about coping with cancer. Telephone counseling is free, confidential, and conveniently allows you to set up a time to speak with your social worker. Call 1-800-813-HOPE (4673) to get help.